People often come up to me, be it on the street, at a social gathering, or even cleaning up at the local oil spill.
“Brian,” they begin, “what’s the secret?”
To which I reply, “The secret?”
They clarify with, “Well, you know, you seem to have it pretty figured out.”
And it’s true- I do seem to have it pretty figured out. The nicest cars. A happy family. A big house (though we do rent out the basement to a nice family of immigrants. They make the BEST apple crumble.).
The thing is- my secret, you might say, is that it’s all a lie. That’s right! The car, the family, the house… I made it all up. A long time ago I realized that people don’t have to ACTUALLY be happy- it’s enough to pretend you are.
But there’s more to it than that! You see, this whole thing is wrapped up in another lie! Apart from being untrue, the whole “What’s the secret?” exchange above is from a conversation between Herman Blume and Max Fischer in the movie Rushmore.
It’s all a lie!
I believe it was Jodie Foster, who graced us with the immortal words “To lie within a lie- that is to be human.”
I can’t even COUNT the number of lies in the above statement- it’s not that I’m a moron, or that I have a problem with numbers, it’s that I absolutely refuse to count up to anything that might add up to the number 3. Call me superstitious- I’m just a cautious man.
Goodnight World,
-Brian
